Tuesday, September 27, 2011

this week

This week is not a good week. Thursday will mark one year since we lost our baby. I'm feeling sad and gloomy and just want to fast forward through the sadness and get to next week. My hubby was saying last night that it feels like we need to DO something on the 29th to mark it or memorialize it somehow. But we don't know what and I don't think I'll really feel like going anywhere or doing anything because it's going to just be so sad. He did say though that he'd handle dinner that night so I don't have to mess with it. Love this man.
What a journey this past year has been.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

summer 2011 catch-up

Lots has gone on around here this summer- so here are the highlights:

Adoption paperwork DONE July 27th and turned in the next day. 

August 2nd-5th- A lovely trip to San Diego, Capistrano Beach and La Jolla to soak up some ocean-ness and enjoy a welcome break from the stifling, staggering heat of Phoenix. We most enjoyed: walking around outside in the cool air, penguins and polar bears and sea turtles at Sea World, visiting Ryan's Grandma who blessed me immensely with a beautiful baby blanket she knit for our soon-to-arrive little one, peering in to tide pools and watching seals in the ocean.

August 20th-21st- landscaped our front yard in 115 degree summer weather. Crazy- ya. Went from a really gross dirt yard to a nice, clean-edged modern desert landscape. Yes folks- it's Phoenix, it's hot, it's dry, water is expensive- so this is what you get! Mad props to my husband for being awesome and having strong muscles and being the one who did 99% of the work on that thing (shoveling, digging, building steel borders, taking a big stick from a cactus spine, sweating lots etc). Monstrous Mexican Bird of Paradise in the back planter already existed and is yet to be conquered. 

September 3rd-5th- Labor Day up north with some of my family at our cabin. Pretty much my favorite place on the planet. Sitting in a glider on the front porch, looking out at the trees, smelling clean pine-scented air, hearing the familiar voices of family, coffee cup in hand: the pinnacle of relaxation for my soul. Did NOT, NOT, NOT want to come home so quickly.

 We had our first home-study appointment on September 1st, and then the 2nd and 3rd appointments actually combined in to one on September 12th because of some scheduling issues with our case worker. And theeeeeeen on September 15th she called us to say we were APPROVED!!! Just like that- in only 4 1/2 months we went from the start of our training classes to official agency approval. The application process was so smooth and quick for us, but I know it's not that way for everyone, so we're really thankful. So now we wait for a birthmother to pick us! Please Jesus make it soon!

 On September 6th we got news from a dear, precious friend of mine that the Lord had led them to give us a hugely generous gift for our adoption. I was speechless over God's provision and felt so spoiled by Him. It was SO unexpected I was just overwhelmed by His goodness and His lavish gifts to us. A few other folks have also told us they would like to help us and we're so so blessed. Jehovah Jirah- God Provides- indeed!

Standing back and watching how God has worked all of this out so far I feel like I have a little soap box I wanna stand on for a second here. I have heard some people make comments about how they can't pursue adoption right now because of how expensive it is, that if the costs weren't so "prohibitive" that they'd have a baby by now and the process seems so complicated and it takes so long etc etc. (I'm not talking about validly waiting for God's timing. I'm talking about these vague sort of "excuses" I've heard tossed around.) 
Ahem. I will step out and say that reveals a true lack of faith in God's ability to provide and unbelief in the miraculous ways he is able to bring the finances and the whole process together. It also discounts the power of the body of Christ to surround you in support and rally around the beauty of the gift of adoption for your family- and -it denies them the opportunity to be challenged toward generosity and to participate in this momentous experience in your lives in a very tangible way (by donating towards your adoption fees). Family building is a very personal and sensitive subject, but when it comes to adoption you can't go it alone and you shouldn't be so private and perhaps prideful to think that you should just handle all of it on your own. Letting people know about your financial needs won't kill you, although it may just kill your pride. It's an awesome invitation to those who are excited for you and want to be part of this with you. Or perhaps you aren't ready to make the changes in your personal finances and seriously adjust your spending to actually save for these costs. Either way, there are some real heart issues going on that need to be laid out before the Lord. If you seriously want to adopt and really feel called to that by God, then these are not serious roadblocks. I have heard lots and lots of adoption stories where it seemed like the challenges were just too huge, the walls too looming and the details too complex to ever really come together- but God was always working and eventually it happened and children were brought to their forever families through miraculous stories written by God. Search your heart and sit with Jesus to see what's going on underneath the "excuses". With God all things are possible. Seriously.

And now I promise to be a better blogger and keep you more updated on our waiting process. Waiting, waiting, oh the waiting!


Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Stay tuned!

Hello. Hi. Wowzers where has the time gone!?!? I totally did NOT intend to have this huge lag in updates here. I have news and photos and excitement and stories to tell! But....not tonight because I am way tired. Just wanted to put this up for those of you who might keep checking back hoping I've posted something new and keep getting disappointed. Stay tuned for some goodness coming up :)