Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Babylost Mothers Day and the due date
Next Sunday is regular Mother's Day. I've been dreading it for weeks already. I told my husband I do not want to go to church on that day. We will have just moved the day before, so that's a good excuse, but honestly I just know I'd be miserable. I also don't really feel like going to any family celebration. I know that sounds horribly selfish and would probably break my mom's heart, but when I'm honest that's how I really feel.
And what compounds it all is that our due date was supposed to have been May 11th. I was supposed to have a Mother's Day baby (or close to it at least). I'd rather skip the month of May if at all possible, thank you. We talked this weekend about what we should do for both occasions and I have no idea. I'm a mama with a baby in heaven. There's no Happy Mother's Day for that. I doubt you'll find a Hallmark card for that situation. All the displays in the stores and the ads in the paper bring it to mind forcefully. There will not be the Mom necklace or the pink bouquet or the special breakfast where you admire your children. Maybe next year we'll have reason for a proper celebration. This year is a time for sadness and remembering what was going to be.