Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Babylost Mothers Day and the due date

This past Sunday was International Babylost Mother's Day, although most people have never heard of that. In some cities there are gatherings for the mamas who have lost their babies to death, with balloon releases or a nice ceremony or something, but not in AZ as far as I know. Plus we were out of town anyway- up north for my sister-in-law's baby shower. But that's a whole 'nother story. Let's just say- 3 pregnant ladies and 2 newborns were in attendance and every conversation seemed to be about babies and pregnancy. Thankfully it was a co-ed shower and my husband understood I needed him to keep me close so I could make it through. I'm happy for my sister-in-law but that was just about more than I could take.

Next Sunday is regular Mother's Day. I've been dreading it for weeks already. I told my husband I do not want to go to church on that day. We will have just moved the day before, so that's a good excuse, but honestly I just know I'd be miserable. I also don't really feel like going to any family celebration. I know that sounds horribly selfish and would probably break my mom's heart, but when I'm honest that's how I really feel.

And what compounds it all is that our due date was supposed to have been May 11th. I was supposed to have a Mother's Day baby (or close to it at least). I'd rather skip the month of May if at all possible, thank you. We talked this weekend about what we should do for both occasions and I have no idea. I'm a mama with a baby in heaven. There's no Happy Mother's Day for that. I doubt you'll find a Hallmark card for that situation. All the displays in the stores and the ads in the paper bring it to mind forcefully. There will not be the Mom necklace or the pink bouquet or the special breakfast where you admire your children. Maybe next year we'll have reason for a proper celebration. This year is a time for sadness and remembering what was going to be.



  1. I'm sorry that their wasn't an event for you to attend. I held one here in Augusta, GA and it was wonderful..I wish you could have been there. I would have liked to recognize you for being a great mama and recognized your precious little one's life. God Bless

  2. Happy Mother's Day to you!!! You are a mom in every sense of the word..just because there isn't a special card for us doesn't mean that we didn't love our children with all of our being...don't let anyone tell you different.