Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Counting days...analyzing the charts...wondering "what the heck??". Ok either something really weird is going on with my cycle or maybe......?? So today I was that girl at Walmart standing awkwardly in the express lane with only one item in my hand- a small pink box. "Is this all for you today?" "Um...yes". Then once I got home I was over-analyzing the feelings in my tummy, that twinge, is it cramps?, maybe I'm just hungry???

There's been more reason than usual to have my hopes up this month. I won't go in to the details, but I don't usually get my hopes up too much as it's pretty obvious each time that my period is on it's way. This time I'm really left wondering.

All I could muster all day was this two word prayer "Please God!", over and over and over. And alternately trying to prepare myself for the let down.

I hate this time of the month- especially the timing of this one. Best Christmas present ever? Or not...

Anyway, my enjoyment of Christmas does not hinge on that and I guess I've gone through enough disappointments that they don't floor me anymore. It can be a "no" and I'll be fine and love this Christmas anyway.

Side note- LOVED the rain tonight! Great chill time with my hubby with our sliding door open and the Christmas lights on. Yummy rain smell + comforting glow of the tree + relaxing with my love = a wonderful evening. Who knows what tomorrow brings...


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